Mrs. Johnny Rocket Day. No.5.

MJR: You know you were terrible at keeping secrets when you were a kid.

Me: Yes, I know.

MJR: No, really. Everyone knew if they told you something you’d tell the world, so we lied to you on purpose.

Me: Yes, I’ve heard the story about the time you bought Dad a computer and I told him it was a refrigerator.

MJR: There were many instances. You weren’t to be trusted.

And that’s a wrap.

Until next year, Happy Mrs. Johnny Rocket Day!

Mrs. Johnny Rocket Day. No.4.

MJR: Even though I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant, I didn’t have any real problems with you until you decided to be born.

Me: Oh?

MJR: You were trying to stand up and you were moving north. You were basically trying to climb out of my throat.

Me: Makes sense to me.

MJR: I told your dad, “This one is going to be different. And not necessarily in a good way.”

Mrs. Johnny Rocket Day. No.3.

MJR: You know what your father said when I told him I was pregnant with you.

Me: Remind me.

MJR: He said, “Sorry about that.”

Me: What’s the next thing he said?

MJR: “I’m gonna be in trouble now, aren’t I?”

Me: What did you say?

MJR: I told him I wasn’t going on vacation with him again. ¬†We went on four vacations and we had four children.* No way.

*1.Disneyland, California (Michael), 2.Honolulu, Hawaii (Jenny), 3.Key West, Florida (Keith), 4.Cross Country Road Trip, with a fated stopover in Tucumcari, New Mexico (Yours Truly).

Mrs. Johnny Rocket Day. No.2.

MJR: (Reading the newspaper) Oh, this weekend was the Windsor Zucchini Festival. We should have gone.

Me: I don’t know what that is.

MJR: Sure you do. It’s been around for thirty years. We probably took you when you were little and you just don’t remember.

Me: If it’s been around for thirty years then I was already 12 when it started. I would remember.

MJR: (Audible sigh) I keep forgetting you’re so old.

Mrs. Johnny Rocket Day.

Me: (Looking at grocery list) Why does it say “roasting hen?”

MJR: Because that’s what we need, a hen for roasting.

Me: But I told you I wanted to learn how to roast a chicken.

MJR: (Uncomfortable silence) A hen is a chicken.

Me: (Uncomfortable-er silence) It’s not a duck?

MJR: Whose child are you?

Happy Mother’s Day, Mrs. Johnny Rocket! Babs. Mom. Still teaching me things after all of these years.