MJR: You know you were terrible at keeping secrets when you were a kid.
Me: Yes, I know.
MJR: No, really. Everyone knew if they told you something you’d tell the world, so we lied to you on purpose.
Me: Yes, I’ve heard the story about the time you bought Dad a computer and I told him it was a refrigerator.
MJR: There were many instances. You weren’t to be trusted.
And that’s a wrap.
Until next year, Happy Mrs. Johnny Rocket Day!
MJR: Even though I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant, I didn’t have any real problems with you until you decided to be born.
MJR: You were trying to stand up and you were moving north. You were basically trying to climb out of my throat.
Me: Makes sense to me.
MJR: I told your dad, “This one is going to be different. And not necessarily in a good way.”
MJR: You know what your father said when I told him I was pregnant with you.
Me: Remind me.
MJR: He said, “Sorry about that.”
Me: What’s the next thing he said?
MJR: “I’m gonna be in trouble now, aren’t I?”
Me: What did you say?
MJR: I told him I wasn’t going on vacation with him again. We went on four vacations and we had four children.* No way.
*1.Disneyland, California (Michael), 2.Honolulu, Hawaii (Jenny), 3.Key West, Florida (Keith), 4.Cross Country Road Trip, with a fated stopover in Tucumcari, New Mexico (Yours Truly).
MJR: (Reading the newspaper) Oh, this weekend was the Windsor Zucchini Festival. We should have gone.
Me: I don’t know what that is.
MJR: Sure you do. It’s been around for thirty years. We probably took you when you were little and you just don’t remember.
Me: If it’s been around for thirty years then I was already 12 when it started. I would remember.
MJR: (Audible sigh) I keep forgetting you’re so old.
Me: (Looking at grocery list) Why does it say “roasting hen?”
MJR: Because that’s what we need, a hen for roasting.
Me: But I told you I wanted to learn how to roast a chicken.
MJR: (Uncomfortable silence) A hen is a chicken.
Me: (Uncomfortable-er silence) It’s not a duck?
MJR: Whose child are you?
Happy Mother’s Day, Mrs. Johnny Rocket! Babs. Mom. Still teaching me things after all of these years.